The thing about deadnaming, esp. during family gatherings is the realization of how contained you are with people who don’t know how to truly love you.
If I have given you a name to call me, with my own mind (& also if you love/care for me, would be something one would logically support)…why don’t you?
Nostalgic (excuses) are only nostalgic if consensual; excuses nonetheless.
Please remember that family can feel like work. Can feel like all of the pain and despair. Don’t forget about vulnerabilities and scars. Don’t gloss over the dread.
And since it has been confirmed that you still don’t love me. I know this emptiness is something quite eternal. I have and will continue to feel a hurt with the potential to keep hurting. I have to choose to be the better person, every-single-damn time instead.